Sulastri.
There isn't much to know about me
but if you must,you can try figuring.
Miscellaneous
Sunday, March 10, 2013
, 4:36 AM
⇨10/3/2013
Often,you push people away. You push the ones that care. You let the ones that don't matter in. Why? Why push and neglect the people that make an effort to be in your life? It's weird isn't it? If I'm trying to make sense out of this,I would say it's because the ones that care knows too much. They know how hurt and paralyzed you have been they know you keep one thousand and one things inside and you dont let it out. They know this because you have once told them/ they know you well enough. You told them that you're too broken to be fixed. You told them that you're tired of life. Of your life you're leading. You think by pushing those people away,you can start anew. Truth is,nothing changes. Nothing changes because you don't let change take place. People that care deserve to be remembered. People that spend 20 minutes lecturing to you about you deserves to be in your life. They do that because they care and it is true. So why push? Stop pushing and start accepting your flaws. Accept other's words and concern. Accept it because it'll help to mould you into a better you. Be thankful for each day you're waking up to. You don't know what tomorrow has to offer.
-note to self
-note to self
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
, 6:12 AM
⇨2013
I really want this year to be a new beginning for me. I want it to be fresh like a new book I'm about to read. (Books,i love) I just wanna love living this life.
Got everything mapped out but I just need a solid motivation and direction.
I am not proud to say that I have been independent throughout most of my 18 years... (Well sorta) I'm still a kid and I need someone to direct me. I'm actually tired of reminding myself my purpose in life. I know it,but I just lack the motivation. I'm tired and almost,bored in fact of planning things for my future. Yes,I can plan it,but I need some sort of motivation. Not those from friends,because I know they want the best. I mean,the kind from typical families. I feel like I'm all alone. I feel like a burden most of the time and I don't want to be that. If only I could have all the money in the world, only God knows what I would do with it. // I know I'm just wasting my time away now. Truth is, I just feel very suffocated. Really stressed out about a lot of things. I sleep my days away cos that's when everyone is awake and I don't have to talk to anyone. I really like shutting myself out nowadays(though it may not seem like it but I like it) // I don't like to be treated like I'm 6. Yes,I know I'm a girl and yes,I know my limits. I don't even date. Or like anyone. Eye candies,yes. But that's as far as I go now. I just don't get it. Why me? This "why" can seriously be branched out into many many different questions. I just can't get any answers. I'm tired...... And suffocated. I just need to shut down for awhile.// I don't like pity or sympathy. It makes me feel weak. And I am already weak as it is. So you get it.
No one reads this space anymore anyway,but if you are reading this,whoever you may be,thank you for reading. Because at least you know I'm not as strong or as happy as I wish I could be.
Got everything mapped out but I just need a solid motivation and direction.
I am not proud to say that I have been independent throughout most of my 18 years... (Well sorta) I'm still a kid and I need someone to direct me. I'm actually tired of reminding myself my purpose in life. I know it,but I just lack the motivation. I'm tired and almost,bored in fact of planning things for my future. Yes,I can plan it,but I need some sort of motivation. Not those from friends,because I know they want the best. I mean,the kind from typical families. I feel like I'm all alone. I feel like a burden most of the time and I don't want to be that. If only I could have all the money in the world, only God knows what I would do with it. // I know I'm just wasting my time away now. Truth is, I just feel very suffocated. Really stressed out about a lot of things. I sleep my days away cos that's when everyone is awake and I don't have to talk to anyone. I really like shutting myself out nowadays(though it may not seem like it but I like it) // I don't like to be treated like I'm 6. Yes,I know I'm a girl and yes,I know my limits. I don't even date. Or like anyone. Eye candies,yes. But that's as far as I go now. I just don't get it. Why me? This "why" can seriously be branched out into many many different questions. I just can't get any answers. I'm tired...... And suffocated. I just need to shut down for awhile.// I don't like pity or sympathy. It makes me feel weak. And I am already weak as it is. So you get it.
No one reads this space anymore anyway,but if you are reading this,whoever you may be,thank you for reading. Because at least you know I'm not as strong or as happy as I wish I could be.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
, 10:26 PM
⇨Sometimes
Sometimes I just wish I don't have anything to do with you anymore. Sometimes, I wish you won't bother me anymore. Sometimes,I wish things weren't this complicated for me. Sometimes I wish you can leave me alone. Because right now, I am too used to not having you by my side anymore. I am used to this feeling of standing on my own. That I would actually feel suffocated with you around. Sometimes,I wish none of this ever have to happen in the first place. Sometimes..... Sometimes...
Sunday, August 26, 2012
, 3:48 AM
⇨
Well I've abandoned this space
long enough. Long enough to say I
miss letting my emotions out. So many random thoughts I've been having. And talking to myself feels like the perfect thing to do. But here's the irony,I'm nothing close to perfect. Or being perfect. Flaws. Flawed. Yes,I am. One after another,troubles. They keep rolling in. I try to jump over them in attempt to avoid being rolled over but I fail. It's like a destructive wave just crashed onto me and I can't get back up. Sorta. I miss my dad. My mum. I long for their attention and care. But why is it that when I get it,I push it away? Why do I push? Is it because I'm used to living like this? Practically on my own? I never wanted this nor did I ever ask for this. If I remember clearly. But I'm still,as always,trying to accept it nonetheless. What are all these words I'm typing out. -They're just your thoughts. And so said my subconscious. Hmm. I just long for someone to come along. Someone special that I can give my all to. But it's probably not my time yet since I keep getting hit by tidal waves huh. Ok this is getting tideous. No one watches this space anyway. Back to your master,Sulastri. Yes. Back to him. Goodnight!
long enough. Long enough to say I
miss letting my emotions out. So many random thoughts I've been having. And talking to myself feels like the perfect thing to do. But here's the irony,I'm nothing close to perfect. Or being perfect. Flaws. Flawed. Yes,I am. One after another,troubles. They keep rolling in. I try to jump over them in attempt to avoid being rolled over but I fail. It's like a destructive wave just crashed onto me and I can't get back up. Sorta. I miss my dad. My mum. I long for their attention and care. But why is it that when I get it,I push it away? Why do I push? Is it because I'm used to living like this? Practically on my own? I never wanted this nor did I ever ask for this. If I remember clearly. But I'm still,as always,trying to accept it nonetheless. What are all these words I'm typing out. -They're just your thoughts. And so said my subconscious. Hmm. I just long for someone to come along. Someone special that I can give my all to. But it's probably not my time yet since I keep getting hit by tidal waves huh. Ok this is getting tideous. No one watches this space anyway. Back to your master,Sulastri. Yes. Back to him. Goodnight!
Monday, August 6, 2012
, 11:24 PM
⇨
Sometimes all you need is a blanket to cover yourself and just cry your heart out. People around me need to know that I'm no longer a child and I have feelings too. I just want to get out of this place. So badly.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
, 3:17 AM
⇨
I wake up each day feeling grateful. Well I try to find reasons to be grateful. Many would be able to list down countless of things they're not happy about. But if you look hard enough,the amount of things you can be happy about can be just as much as the opposite. What is life you ask? Life is living each day to its fullest. Praying and thanking Him for everything. The good and the bad.
The weak people are usually the strongest. And the strongest may be the weakest. Without the individual realising it. Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa to all the Muslims out there :')
The weak people are usually the strongest. And the strongest may be the weakest. Without the individual realising it. Selamat menunaikan ibadah puasa to all the Muslims out there :')
Monday, July 2, 2012
, 12:02 AM
⇨
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
Sunday, June 17, 2012
, 2:17 PM
⇨I miss you terribly
I may not know where you are but I will always remember you. I miss the piggy back rides each time I get tired. Falling asleep on your shoulders,I can still remember the comfort. The kisses you planted on my cheeks,are terribly missed. The advices you gave me,will always be in my head. The surprise visits,the hugs,your smile,your sacrifices. I will always remember. I will always love you for everything that you are. I will always accept you regardless of your many flaws. Because you will always be my one and only father. I love you Ayah. Happy father's Day. I hope everything is good for you wherever you may be. I miss you dearly.
Please,always have me in your heart wherever you may be. May Allah bless you. Amin.
Please,always have me in your heart wherever you may be. May Allah bless you. Amin.